Revenge?

So one of my best friends is fighting with one of her (ex) friends. And she is so intent on making her life a living hell. And I thought….this isn’t gonna get you anywhere. What is the point of doing the same thing to her as shes doing to you. It makes no since to me, if someone is really trying to get you mad, why show them that you are mad, it just lets them know you are winning. I guess I just think about things like this more then others, but It just proves that you are no better then them. If it was really a eye for and eye, the whole world would be blind. This is super cliché but what every teenage girl really wants….is WORLD PEACE. If you think about it, it makes total since, nobody can no better then a 16 year old girl how backstabbing and mean somebody can be. I wonder what the world would be like if we could all let everything roll off our backs, let things go and just walk down the halls and smile at the ones that hurt us the most. Why waste our time making others unhappy, it wont make you feel any better about yourself. I don’t know it has just been bothering me.

Love you all,
Em.

~My to do list~

So in order to have something to aim for in life, im going to make a to do list, of things that NEED to happen before i die.

Take a road trip with the people that mean the most to me.
New York on new years eve.
Have a goat for a pet.
Cliff diving.
Lear to play the harp.
Spring break with my girls.
Go back to Cancun, with my friends.
Get a place of my own right after graduation.
Get into MSU Bozmen.
Work in a bakery.
Buy a Corvette one day.
Walk on the beach with the one i love.
Leave the content.
Make it to all 4 proms.
Work in a flower shop.
Spend an entire day just laying on a roof.
Turkey hunting.
Break into the pool in the middle of the night.
Pig wrestling.
Demo derby when im 18.
Find the one i love and grow old with him.
Live up my life in the next 2 years of PHS!

It's weird, you know the end of something great is coming, but you want to hold on, just for one more second. just so it can hurt a little more.

you know, this feeling is crazy. im handling it well, im so so so confused at this point i fall in love with guy A then i fall in love with guy B. guy A says fuck you, two weeks later guy B says the same. now guy A comes back and is like heyyy. lol. thats the blonde version anyways. but in all seriousness, im so confused he hurt me so bad, intentionally, but now he knows he is wrong and proved to me that he really does care. i had sooo much to say to him, wanted to chew him out. tell him how bad i hurt. then he called, and my mind went blank...i was lost, i still am. he asked me what i wanted and i said it doesnt matter, i dont really know, im just going the way life takes me. and really im not going to expect anything im not gonna want anything just go with the flow. i just dont want to be compleatly along, as long as i have my friends im good. hes going to be in town for a couple more days, maybe i will get a chance to see him and maybe it will change my feelings. thats all for now, ill let you know how it goes lol :)

love you all
Em.

.:Missing the way things used to be:.

So lately i have been incredibly blank....i dont know what it is, i would normally be "depressed" but i cant say that im quite that bad. sean and i broke up, he said he cant be committed, but there is something going on with him and his family that i dont know about so, im kinda letting it go, i really really like him alot but what ever makes that kid happy. me and my mom got into a fight again, like a big fight....and if you ask about what, i honestly couldnt tell you. shes wayyy too over dramatic and i dont remember, so i go to school, try not to make things worse, come home sit in my room and try not to make things worse. i took this whole long weekend off so that i could just be with my friends and take some time to myself....but im ending up having to work 3 out of the 4 days anyways, so that didnt work. i just want to hang out with the person i can trust 100% and that would be my bffl NICOLE. i love her to death, she might be comming up this weekend, but i have to work so she just might have to hang around a bit. lol :) but i always feel soooo much better when i hang out with her. this is a totally pointless blog, but i just dont know what to do about sean...wait it out, or let it fall?? idk...ill keep you posted.

love you all
Em.

Live Laugh Love.

And thats exactly what im trying to do, live laugh love. for some reason im extremely happy with my life right now, my and sean are doing great im really falling for this kid, me and my friends are really getting along (surprise surprise) im keeping busy with my TWO jobs, yes me..the lazy slacker with two jobs, making money and getting to see alot of people doing it. me and my parents are ok...trying not to kill each other, i just try and avoid them thus avoiding conflict and to be completely honest with you...im ok with that. you know i am grounded and failing 2 classes...but right now im just on cloud nine, and i love that i can be like that. its not often that im ever this happy...its kinda weird, and i know that tomorrow i will be compleatly unhappy with my life, but thats a new day. im really excited for prom....the only problem is my boyfriend doesnt want to go, uppsetting right. im thinking i can talk him into it tho... i hope. but i found the most amazing dress EVER! its probably the most beautiful thing ever. i just need to find a date or what ever??